Ruth Duren Ruth Duren

A pattern I see that costs my clients and me time, money and success is doing things for others they can do for themselves.

A pattern I see that costs my clients and me time, money, and success is doing things for others they can do for themselves.

One of my patterns used to be I believed I could just quickly do it.

A pattern I see that costs my clients and me time, money and success is doing things for others they can do for themselves.

One of my patterns used to be I believed I could just quickly do it.

I believed it was just easier or faster if I just did it.

At that point, it made sense to just get it over with and move on to the next thing.

The problem was that the person I was “just doing it for” never learned how to do it for themselves and needed me in the future to “just do it for them” again.

Also, as I was “doing it for them, " my work and responsibilities’ were not getting done or getting the attention required to get it done to the best of my abilities.

At the end of the day, I could say I accomplished a lot, but it was never my best work OR for the highest good for all involved and our futures.

The other problem was that as I moved up in leadership or responsibilities, I was spending time doing things that others were better skilled at and not focusing on higher income-producing activities.

Some of the growth I required was to learn how to delegate, teach others how to do for themselves, or even allow others to fail to grow.

I had to be uncomfortable, allowing others to be uncomfortable and tap into their creativity to get things done.

Sometimes I was amazed and impressed by the creativity of the other people.

Most importantly, when I gave myself enough brain space, creativity, and time to finish my work, the finished products were of better and higher value.

Thus creating more of the results I wanted without working longer or harder than necessary.

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Ruth Duren Ruth Duren

Not honoring our word to ourselves erodes our relationship with ourselves and costs us time, money, and success.

Not honoring our word to ourselves erodes our relationship with ourselves and costs us time, money, and success.

Not honoring our word to ourselves erodes our relationship with ourselves and costs us time, money, and success. Sometimes we may think no one will know, but WE will know.

We always know when we said we would do something for ourselves, AND we know when we are not holding up our end of the deal.

This also shows up when we build a business, lose weight, build a retirement, etc., because how we do one thing is how we do everything.

I noticed my clients who struggle to create our dreams had one thing in common: not keeping our word to ourselves.

We say we will do XYZ on Monday, and come Monday, and we don’t do what we said we would.

However, if we told Susie Q we would do XYZ on Monday for her, we would be there no matter what.

This pattern communicates that we are not as important as Susie Q, that our relationship with ourselves does not matter as much as the relationship with Susie, and that our respect and trust in ourselves do not matter as much.

These tiny little cuts into our relationship with ourselves significantly impact our self-trust, self-respect, and self-love.

The interesting thing is when we start honoring our word to ourselves and know beyond a reason of doubt, we will keep our word to ourselves, we still keep our words to others, but because we love ourselves too much and would not agree to meet or do anything for Susie Q that we are not in alignment with.

The stronger our self-trust, the more people can trust us.

The additional bonus is my clients start creating more of the dreams they want, including stronger relationships with themselves and others.

If you are ready to learn how to honor your word to yourself while creating the life and business of your dreams without working harder or longer, I can help you.

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Ruth Duren Ruth Duren

How many times do we have to pay for the same mistake?

How many times do we have to pay for the same mistake?

Our answer to this question will be a tell-tell sign of how hard we work to create our dreams.

As a child, I punished myself multiple times for the same offense; once, when I realized I had messed up, I confessed and was punished, and in the future, I reminded myself that I messed up in the hopes of not repeating the mistake.

I took this pattern into adulthood and punished myself multiple times for the same offense.

The irony is that this pattern did not reduce the offenses, just my self-trust and my relationship with myself.

As I progressed in my personal development journey, my mentors kept showing me the pattern and how it was costing me my enjoyment of my current life.

Punishing myself for the same offense slowed me down and eroded the one relationship I wanted the most; my desire to trust me unconditionally.

Of course, this pattern was reflected on the people in my life, but that is a story for another day.

I started noticing the cost of this pattern, and my goal is to eventually not punish myself; I will admit I still punish myself, but only once—one offense, one punishment.

Without the constant beatdown and increased self-trust, I can make mistakes, forgive myself faster and move on to other things.

I have noticed my level of self-trust has increased, and so has the trust I have with the people in my life.

How many times do you have to pay for the same mistake?

Even one less beatdown can help you achieve your dreams faster without working harder or longer than necessary.

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Ruth Duren Ruth Duren

Confidence is something so many people want.

Confidence is something so many people want.

Confidence feels good and drives so much amazingness.

Unfortunately, most people do not know how to create confidence and are looking to things, people or places outside them to create confidence for them.

Confidence is 100% an inside job.

Of course, things can be created on the outside that will enhance the feeling of confidence, but the original spark of faith comes from inside you by how you think.

I teach my clients how to cultivate confidence inside them and how to become the confident person who goes out into the world and creates more confidence.

Everything we want starts from inside us and cannot be created from outside us.

Confidence is created by a belief that the worst thing that can happen is an emotion, we are willing to feel any emotion, no matter what, we will figure things out and we will have our back through it all.

From these beliefs, we show up feeling confident, which fuels all our actions and inaction.

From these beliefs, we show up confidently no matter what is happening around or if we have the results we are looking for.

When we seek confidence from outside us, confidence depends on the results and falters based on the results.

True confidence keeps us going before and especially after the results are there.

True confidence has you falling and getting back up and going back to action because you have your own back.

True confidence has you trusting yourself even if you did not show up as powerful as you could have, and is what has you creating awareness and deciding how to show up differently next time.

True confidence is a gift you get to give yourself.

Confidence is how we get twice as much done in half the time and achieve our biggest dreams.

Ready to learn how to create confidence anytime you need it? Schedule a consultation call.

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Ruth Duren Ruth Duren

I love the analogy of thoughts being like rocks in bags.

I love the analogy of thoughts being like rocks in bags.

I use this analogy, especially when I teach my clients how they are working harder and longer to create the results they want.

And just because we can carry heavy loads does not mean we have to.

My clients will come to me and use terms like “I feel heavy, or it feels heavy,” “I just feel pulled down,” or “I have a weight on my shoulders.”

I visualize the things weighing them down as bags full of rocks.

My clients will be walking up the steep hills but carrying the extra weight on their shoulders.

Coaching with me is like identifying what the rocks are and deciding to give them back or drop them.

The hike up the hill is challenging enough.

We can benefit from dropping the extra heavyweight—for example, a client who caters her life and business actions to other people's opinions. Every opinion is a rock. Before they can take a step like a post on social media, they need to evaluate each post based on all the opinions. By the time they post, they have picked up each rock, analyzed it, evaluated it, and decided how the post will impact all the opinions.

When we decide to give everyone their rocks back, we can just decide we want to post something like our reason and allow everyone to deal with the extra weight of their rocks.

When given their rocks/opinions back, most people drop them because they do not like the excess weight.

AND when we give them their rocks back, they drop them as they don’t want to be carrying them either.

AS my clients move closer to their goals, their bags get lighter, and it’s normal for my clients to set bigger goals as they see how amazing and strong, they always have been.

If you are ready to learn how you are working harder and longer than necessary to make your dreams come true, I can help you.

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Ruth Duren Ruth Duren

“what if I love myself too much and I don’t want to take action?”

When I teach my clients the power of using love, kindness, and compassion to take action and create their goals, the most common question I get is, “what if I love myself too much and I don’t want to take action?”

Currently, my clients will be using force or negative reinforcement to take the action they desire, and it leaves them exhausted, depleted, and sometimes burnt out.

My answer is always to have them think of a person or thing they love and how motivated they are from love.

For example, a client will work longer hours or take on more assignments to pay for extracurricular activities for their child because they love watching their child participate in the activities.

Or a client who will work a job they don’t particularly enjoy because they love the privilege of what the job provides them, like food, shelter, and clothing.

Love inspires us to do things we would not typically want to do.

Love is a powerful emotion, and it taps into our creativity.

Love will have us do uncomfortable and challenging things just to experience more of the beautiful feeling.

Spend time feeling love and ask yourself, “what would love do?”.

Think of how hard you will work for someone you love and who is kind to you.

Why would it be different when it comes to ourselves?

Spend time gathering proof and evidence of things you have done, sometimes moving mountains for love.

Think of times you have even worked harder for love and how rewarding it was.

When I started keeping track of things I did from love, I noticed I worked hard but never felt exhausted.

I walk miles for my dogs because I love them and love watching them sleep when they are drained.

I went to school for my master's because I made more money to pay for my daughter's dance and loved watching her on stage dancing her heart out or loved hearing how proud she was of herself after learning a hard move.

I paid for sports for my sons because I loved sitting at the dining room table and hearing them talk sports with their father or watching them on the field or mat, pushing themselves to do things they once thought were impossible.

The same applies to us; we can get to impossible things from the feeling of love.

Spend the next week asking yourself, “what would love do?” and keep track of the amazing creativity and inspiration that comes from love.

Ready to learn more ways we can take the actions we always wanted and create the business of our dreams without experiencing exhaustion or burnout? I can help you.

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Ruth Duren Ruth Duren

Could your interpretations of words be costing you time, money and success?

Understanding our cultural interpretation of words can make a huge difference in our lives and thus the experiences we have in the world and our businesses.

We are taught in personal development to take full responsibility for our thought, feelings, actions, and thus the results we are creating in the world.

Sounds fantastic and straightforward.

I thought so too for years until I noticed that my understanding of responsibility meant the need for blaming.

When I saw it, my understanding and association in my brain went from taking responsibility to taking the action of blaming so that we could fix the problem.

My default thinking was that something had to have gone wrong for us to take responsibility, and we needed to fix it by blaming and shaming, so we could not repeat it.

So interesting enough, I avoided and skirted taking full responsibility and creating awareness because it would mean I would blame myself and fix myself.

I avoided reviewing and evaluating patterns, thus creating changes and desired growth.

All felt heavy and something I needed to avoid.

But when I saw this pattern and noticed that this interpretation was not producing the desired result, I was empowered to look at what I wanted to make taking responsibility mean.

If I come from love, empowerment, and reprogrammed my brain to look at it from the most compassionate and graceful place, blame was not in the picture.

I choose to look at taking responsibility as a clean and loving thing.

Once my body and I unconditionally trusted me, and it was safe to create pure awareness from clean responsibility, my relationship with myself grew stronger.

The most loving and compassionate conversations have been happening, which in turn fuel actions that I always wanted for ease and fun.

I could easily extend the same grace and love to others in my life, thus creating more collaborative and creative relationships.

If you, too, have a pattern of blaming, let’s find what you believe blame will fix or avoid.

Let’s find your interpretations of words, and let us replace them with more effective and impactful variations that will take you to where you want to go.

Schedule a consultation call, and let us have an honest and loving conversation.

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Ruth Duren Ruth Duren

Negative reinforcement works UNTIL it does not work.

Negative reinforcement works UNTIL it does not work.

My clients have a strong history of using negative reinforcement to create their goals in the past.

They have tons of proof and evidence when it worked from their family of origin and maybe during their college days.

Unfortunately, negative reinforcement only works when we are driven by external motivation like avoiding punishment, failing, survival or taking care of your four basic needs; food, shelter, clothing and utilities.

Negative reinforcement does not work for internal-driven desires like building a business you want.

For example; negative reinforcement works when you have a medical diagnoses that requires you to lose weight, eat healthy and work out.

However, it will not work when you want to lose weight to be healthier or fit in a outfit you like.

My clients will try to use negative reinforcement to create their dreams and struggle because it does not work.

I help my clients reprogram their brains and patterns from using negative reinforcement to using more effective tools and skills that guarantees they create their goals without working harder than necessary.

If you have tried using old tools and skills that worked at one time, but now are only fustrautaing and exhausting you, I can help you.

Watch a reply of a training I did and learn ways you are working harder and longer than necessary to create your dream business.

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Ruth Duren Ruth Duren

How to create our goals faster with reduced stress and burnout

My life has changed dramatically in the last two months and in ways that would have stressed me out in the past but have resulted in so much more love, compassion, grace, AND even faster goal creation.

We have heard it can be easy and fun to create our goals

OR We need to have love and compassion to create our goals

AND if you are like me, you most likely secretly said “bullshit, not possible”.

AND secretly, you, like me, may still use force and pressure to try to create our goals.

Using harsh words, trying to force round pegs into square holes, getting frustrated and overwhelmed, getting exhausted, and all while watching others do it faster with fun and ease.

My default was to believe I was broken; something was wrong with me OR worse yet, I was not good enough as my humanness or human value was broken and needed to be fixed.

NO HUMAN IS BROKEN, just the tools being used, just the skills being used, how they are being used and the energy the actions are coming from.

So with the change I had no choice but to accept there was a different more loving and compassionate way AND the universe and all the work I have done in the past STEPPED up big time.

Nothing I have done in the past was wasted, and was just a solid foundation to when I changed the energy being used things, goals, desire and dreams just clicked into place AND in ways I could have NEVER forced, controlled or fixed.

With love, grace, and compassion for me, I am taking care of myself in ways I could have never imagined, thus making it easy to take care of the things and people in my life.

With grace, love, and compassion, when things do not go as planned OR humans do human things like getting sick, OR when we underestimate things like the energy or actions or time, we can recover so much faster AND redirect as needed.

If you are going, sounds good, BUT how?

I can help you. Schedule a consultation call and let us have a conversation.

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Ruth Duren Ruth Duren

labels and how they stop us from growing and becoming the best versions of ourselves.

Let’s talk about how culturally we use labels and how they stop us from growing and becoming the best versions of ourselves.

My clients will come to me and have a ton of labels; I am a quitter, I bring shame to my family, I am not enough, I chase the shiny object, I am not smart, and the list goes on and on.

When we accept the label, the problem is that it becomes our default operating manual.

It becomes how we show up in the world.

It has us giving up the responsibility of creating the life and business of our dreams.

It takes away our power to create something different in the world.

For example, if we label ourselves as a quitter and things get hard, or we experience the ups and downs of life, we default and quit.

We just accept it as who we are and reinforce that label versus someone who believes, sometimes they take the action of quitting.

They not only see the times they did not quit but also gather evidence of times they kept showing up no matter what.

They also have options, and the decision to quit was not taken lightly.

If they do quit, it was because it was a choice they made and they liked their reason.

My advice for my clients is always to clean up their labels and not to pigeonhole themselves into labels.

I show them the power of choosing who they want to be and how that evolves over time.

The more my clients drop their labels, the more empowered they are to take massive action and create the results they want without working harder or longer.

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Ruth Duren Ruth Duren

One of the ways my clients work so much harder than they need to is their fear and avoidance of feeling emotions.

One of the ways my clients work so much harder than they need to is their fear and avoidance of feeling emotions.

Let us talk about a hypothetical client Susy.

Susy has experienced negative emotions in her childhood, sometimes from trauma or sometimes from the stories she told herself as a child.

The feelings were painful, and she created a protection structure to protect her from feeling or experiencing negative emotions.

This protection structure has worked for years and has kept her safe.

The problem comes because this protection structure makes her work harder and is exhausting, so she has a limited amount of energy and bandwidth left over after a regular day.

Susy has a desire to build a successful business and has a vision of the long time impact of the business on her children and the lifestyle it will afford her.

She approaches marketing her business and is taking the actions and is not getting the results she wants because she needs to be creative, think about her client, and visualize her client's pain points and the before and after effects of working with Susy.

It sounds simple when you have brain space and the capacity to be creative, but remember, Susy does not have that energy available to her after just surviving to get the basics done daily.

She is working hard not to experience negative emotions that her bandwidth is low, and really spending time in her client's brain and thinking creatively is exhausting.

My goal as her coach is to retrain her brain to accept and feel negative emotions.

To process the stories that caused the negative emotions and the process her default brain goes through when negative emotions happen.

This new pattern gives her back brain space, energy, and bandwidth to be creative and spend more time and energy on her ideal client and how to help them solve their problems.

This gives her back power and bandwidth to create the results she wants in her business and take care of herself and her family.

She can think creatively and implement systems and processes that create fantastic results while saving her even more, time and energy.  

She can make more money without working harder and longer, but she can also create a solid foundation for this to be her new normal.

She creates a system to create so much more in her life and live the life she dreamed of.

If you like Susy, have a dream and struggle, I can help you. Schedule a consultation call.

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Ruth Duren Ruth Duren

The energy we use to take action will result in results or exhaustion

My clients will tell me they are exhausted because of what they are doing.

They list the things they did as evidence of why they are exhausted.

I always question the thought and think of times they have done the same amount of things and felt energized.

They always have an example, and the difference is how they were thinking and feeling about the actions.

One person can go to the gym, not want to do it, tell themselves a ton of stories about why they don't belong at the gym or why gyms don't work.

And another person can go to the gym to do it by loving themselves, their body, and the healthy body they are creating.

We will be able to see the difference in the number of reps, the speed of transition, or even the number of breaks or distractions allowed.

Both may do the same workout, but only one will feel energized because of the thoughts and feelings they used to take a ton of actions.

So if you are exhausted, look at the thoughts and feelings you are using to take the actions.

It may be coming from scarcity, force, or wanting to avoid something.

Sometimes it's thinking there will be better than here, but forgetting we will never arrive at a place where we will not have a whole human experience.

When we clean up the energy we take action from, my clients and I create more in the world and make more money without working harder or longer.

If you are interested in changing the fuel you use to take action; I can help you. Schedule a consultation session and learn identify the energy/fuel you are using to take action.

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Ruth Duren Ruth Duren

Are you costing yourself time, money and success?

One way that we cost ourselves time and money, is by spinning in confusion because we discounted ourselves.

This looks like; not believing that WE can have what we want but still kinda putting something out into the world to prove that we were right.

The actions are there, but just to tick the box and then say “see I told you, I cannot have it or I am not good enough.”

Sometimes the action yields a result, but we dismiss it because it was a fluke “it was not supposed to happen.”

Then we discount what we created and spin even more in confusion.

The result is we take even less action or stop working in our business because we need the story “we are not good enough.”

The action or the results will only have us digging our heels in to prove that thought and prove ourselves right.

The key is to question that story.

Why did we need to believe “we are not good enough?”.

Why did we decide that was true, and now we are just gathering proof and evidence for it?

Can we honor that once-needed story but decide it's not required anymore?

Can we accept that the story served us, but it is now hurting us?

We are enough and have always been enough.

Just because we were once mistaken does not mean we have to keep that story.

It was a thought error that once served us, but is now hurting us.

I help my clients see this pattern and choose on purpose what they are going to think about themselves in the future.

If you are exhausted with this ineffective cycle, I can help you. Schedule a consultation call and learn how you are costing you time and money.

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Ruth Duren Ruth Duren

Are you making it harder for you to make money?

Are you making it harder for you to make money?

If you don’t have the results you want, you may make it harder to make money.

Here are some ways I see my clients (with me being my number one client) make it harder to make money.

1. Perfection. Thinking everything should be perfect before they put themselves out in the world. They rewrite and edit what they are saying to ensure it is excellent and no one gets offended, especially the grammar police.

2. People-pleasing. We need everyone to be happy with us or what we say. We freak out when we have a person unsubscribe or leave our group and make it mean something about us, OR we want to say the right, polite, and kind thing to the people who will never be our clients OR worse yet tailor or business and marketing to please the person who has an opinion. Yeah, they will be happy, but do you know who will be unhappy? The person you can help who is struggling with the thing you can help them solve.

3. Hiding and making it hard for our customers to find us. We are hiding in groups, in our homes, and behind being friendly and polite and not telling our customers how they are struggling and how we can help them.

4. Being indecisive and not making effective business decisions. The longer we are indecisive, the longer we go without serving and supporting our people to solve their problems.

5. Signing up for programs and not doing the uncomfortable work or not using them to get the results you signed up for.

6. Not creating awareness of the energy we are using to take action. We are using things like shame and guilt as a motivator. We beat ourselves up, hoping that we would be uncomfortable enough to create change. The problem is we rob ourselves of happiness and enjoyment in the present for the desire for a future that will be better, but we are only hurting ourselves and slowing us down from creating the results we want.

All these patterns seem necessary and essential, but it costs us the money we want to make. Cleaning up even one process is like taking the break off and moving the money train faster.

If you are ready to end the cycle making it harder for you to make money, I can help you. Schedule a consultation session.

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Ruth Duren Ruth Duren

6 Relationship tips I used to make more money without working harder or longer

Our relationship with our business is just like any other relationship and can be changed by only one person changing.

I have been in business in one form or another for 25 years, AND I have been married for 25 years.

Our relationship with our business is just like any other relationship and can be changed by only one person changing.

I have been in business in one form or another for 25 years, AND I have been married for 25 years.

Below are some problems we experience in relationships and how I have chosen to approach them to create a loving and close relationship.

  1. We are blaming the other for how we are feeling. This looks like blaming our spouse for our feeling versus taking full responsibility for our emotions based on what they said or did. When we take full responsibility AND drop the blame, we drop a ton of resentment. We get to see what clear boundaries are and how we will honor our boundaries. In business, we blame our company for things it cannot do; for example, you want 20 clients, take full responsibility and make it happen.

  2. Expecting the other person to do it perfectly, judging them against the expectations and missing who they are and what they are doing. I am a recovering perfectionist, and I used to expect me, my spouse, and my business to be perfect, AND none were meeting the high manuals, and I was frustrated. As I have become aware, I accept our human flaws, admit our weaknesses, and acknowledge when we are doing the best we can with the information we have. In business, assuming it will meet me where I am, every time I step up, it does too. (I am so fortunate to have the same blessing with my husband).

  3. I was telling lies to myself, my spouse, or my business. White little lies will not hurt anyone but cause pain and resentment. Lies block the abundance and intimacy we experience. In business, it can be a small lie like not following through on what you said you would do or not honoring your end of the agreement because it’s so small no one will notice, BUT it adds up and becomes the norm.

  4. People-pleasing. My mentor tells people-pleasers are liars. As a recovering people pleaser, I would lie and think if I did this, then the other party should do what I wanted them to do. I was not honoring myself, and the other parties did not know what I wanted as I was not being honest with myself. When I dropped the people-pleasing and the secret if I do this, then you should do that, I was real, and they knew what I was expecting clearly, and they met me where I was. In business, we lie to ourselves and do things, like I want a professional income, but I work 10 to 20 hours, not evaluate and adjust and show up as a professional. Or we show up and excepting our business to be a certain way or believe if I do that you should, yet we don't have the systems in place for it to meet us.

  5. Expecting others to do what we are not willing to do. This one was a big one. I expected them to change, do the heavy lifting, create comfort and safety for me, ALL while I was not doing it for them or me. “If it's so easy for them, why don't you do it first” was what my mentor told me once. If it is so easy for them to accept your goals, dreams, and new you, are you getting that they are not comfortable with the change and lack of security of business? Are you expecting your business to do something that you are unwilling to do? Say it provide customers while sitting on the couch? If it's so easy, why don't you do it and see what happens?

  6. We are expecting others to be different from they are. This one is a collection of all those mentioned above BUT needs to be discussed again. When we think others should be different, we cannot love, accept, acknowledge or appreciate them for WHO they are. We don't see them for them and miss how amazing they already are. We love them for them and hopefully not for who we think they should be. In business, when we love it because one day it will be a big business that provides us a high income, we don't love and care for it at the different stages and when it needs more from us.

The above is hard, but very easy when we accept any relationship to grow, we get the honor of doing the work first and leading the way.

The more effective we become in relationships, the more we become, and we can take it to any relationship or business we want.

These are skills and can be built over time. Every time I uplevel my skills, my experiences, and results uplevel as well.

Schedule a consultation call and start making more money in less time and energy while enjoying your relationships.

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Ruth Duren Ruth Duren

Let's talk about the brain and how it loves repeating the old programmed pattern even though those patterns are hurting us.

Let's talk about the brain and how it loves repeating the old programmed pattern even though those patterns are hurting us.

My brain used to do something and, like a forensic detective, go down a rabbit hole seeking proof and evidence to keep my stories.

Let's talk about the brain and how it loves repeating the old programmed pattern even though those patterns are hurting us.

My brain used to do something and, like a forensic detective, go down a rabbit hole seeking proof and evidence to keep my stories.

I would find or create the evidence to keep a story that no longer served me or helped me move forward.

I kept finding my brain trying to sell me the stories, and after years and all the mounting evidence against the story, I am finally done with the fight.

My brain as a child believed I hurt people by doing the things I did. Just being myself was hurting people.

Somewhere along the journey I started to lie to myself and others, to not hurt them.

I would feel angry or hurt, and I would bottle it up, lie to myself, so I would not be the catalyst to hurting people, and the truth, in my mind, hurt people.

My most common phrase now seems to be, I need that story because; I don't want to be angry; I don't want to hate them, I don't want to be heartbroken.

But to keep the story, I am internalizing the anger, the hate, and the heartbreak by using them against myself, AND I'm done with that pattern.

So now I find these stories, I am choosing to feel the anger, which is normally covering sadness or scared, feel the hate which is covering the fear of not being loved and just wanting to be loved, and heartbreak which is covering the sadness and loneliness my little self felt as she missed her mom.

So, I needed the stories as a little girl and emotions are imprinted in our bodies at the time we experience them, so my brain was recalling them from the scared little girl’s perspective.

Now, as a life coach, with all the tools and support I have, when I find those stories, I used to need, I can let them go, feel the emotion at my 46-year-old skill and create a new pattern for me.

My fear was I would “take it out on people,” but I am noticing I have so much love and compassion for humans as our brains do the same thing and try to protect us, but in a way that causes more hurt and distractions.

Our brains are running a primitive computer program; as the original apple, while we have evolved and running IOS14, but it's 100s of years worse.

As a life coach, I help my clients run the most recent brain programs and every aspect of our lives up level.

Every relationship, including the one with ourselves and our business, improves and the result is how many people we help.

I am the life coach for businesswomen, and I help them clean up their minds so they can make more money without working any harder or longer.

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Ruth Duren Ruth Duren

What if the way we have solved our discomfort in the past is the cause of the current pain we are experiencing?

What if the way we have solved our discomfort in the past is the cause of the current pain we are experiencing?

We are stuck in our business.

We have made the same amount year after year.

No matter what we try, we still make the same last year as the year before.

Which examples below do we see ourselves?

1. We think the solution is we don’t know how to make more money, so we go gather more knowledge. Read another book, signup for another training, listen to another podcast or freebie. We still seem to create the same results year after year, which leaves us even more frustrated with all the knowledge.

2. We think the solution is to take more action. Suppose we doubled our marketing or sales calls. If we could have more eyeballs on our product or service, we would create more money. So we gather more knowledge on how to do that and take action, but it does not move the needle, and it leaves us overwhelmed with all the things to do.

3. We think the solution is working longer hours. If we just worked more hours, we would get more done and thus make more money. But the long hours only leave us exhausted and maybe even burnt out as self-care was replaced by working.

4. We think the solution is just working harder and becoming more productive. So we try to do more in less time. We create a long to-do list, sit down and knock them out, but no matter how many things we complete, the list does not get smaller as there are always things to add to the list.

5. We think the solution is to outsource or hire someone to do what we could not do. So we hire someone, and now there is a need to find the right candidate, hire them, train them and manage them, earn enough for our expenses and their wages, and all on top of what we are doing—leading to even more frustration, overwhelm, and exhaustion.

6. We think we are in the wrong industry and need to change industries. But have a hard time breaking into the new industry or become successful and experience the exact same emotions as the last industry, so our only solution is to change industries again; get a job, start another business, look for the latest and hottest products, or service to where people are killing it. We then start from scratch and feel overwhelmed and frustrated with all new things to learn and the same challenges.

The solution to all this is not what tradition teaches us but to manage the way we think and feel about them.

To see our current thoughts and beliefs and replace them with intentional thoughts that will have us look at the cause of the original problem in a new light.

Once we change our perception and thoughts, we can decide what to do from a clear place.

We have logical and creative ways of looking at the problem; we can organize the problem and the solution into a prioritized system that fuels more of the actions that will help us create more money in less time and energy.

I help my clients make more money without working longer and harder by creating a more effective solution to common problems.

Once my clients learn the simple system I teach, they take this system into other areas of their business and life and create more results.

Schedule a consultation call and learn how to solve for business discomfort in a different way

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Ruth Duren Ruth Duren

One emotion and pattern I see with struggling businesswomen costing them the energy to make money is that they feel trapped

One emotion and pattern I see with struggling businesswomen costing them the energy to make money is that they feel trapped in their current outcomes and think “they don’t know how to get out.”

They are in a hurry to get out and feel panicky, which does not fuel any productive or income-generating activity.

When we think, we are confined to our current outcomes; money, customers, time, etc., and we are in a hurry to get out or change the outcomes, we miss the reason we are there in the first place which gives us the solution to move forward to make the effects of all our hard work fruitful.

We stay spinning and doing the same thing that got us trapped in the first place, resulting in us feeling even more trapped.

Unfortunately, more knowledge and information without organizing it to get the results we want is like buying more clothes because we cannot find the ones under the pile and create even more disorganization, frustration, and confinement.

More clothes are the metaphor for more knowledge and information; another book, podcast, training, tactic, or even degree.

The solution is to create a system to organize our clothes and identify which clothes we need to keep, get rid of, and maybe purchase.

I help my clients solve for the cause of the feeling of being trapped, organize and prioritize what they have, and use it to create the money they want without working any harder or longer.

They stop feeling trapped and feel liberated to make more of their dreams.

If you are ready to make more money without working harder or longer, I can help you. Schedule a complementary consultation session.

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Ruth Duren Ruth Duren

Creating more clients by being interesting in marketing.

Three of my clients have asked to be coached on a similar thing: creating more clients by being interesting in their marketing.

Society teaches us that interesting is the flashy influencers type of posts that will be the key to drawing people in.

Three of my clients have asked to be coached on a similar thing: creating more clients by being interesting in their marketing.

Society teaches us that interesting is the flashy influencers type of posts that will be the key to drawing people in.

Or the lifestyle of the rich and the famous that make people interested.

Or worse, the shock and awe tactics used by the media or bait and switch companies.

They believed they had to use these techniques and thought that their marketing would not work Or any reach they were having was not good enough.

They were feeling ineffective and insecure with what they were currently doing.

They compare themselves to other people in their industry and on social media.

They hide and mute their messages and how they could help their people.

They played small and left so many people unserved, thus not earning what they could earn.

There are a few problems with this type of thinking.  

1. What inspires people to hire us and work with us is our belief we can help them. When we believe we can help them, we inspire them to take action. We show them how we can help them understand the value of working with us. When we focus on ourselves and do not believe we can help our people, we mute how to help them and blend into the background.

2. These tactics may capture our people’s attention. Still, marketing and serving our people go beyond the first attention to retaining the attention to move along our marketing to becoming our paid customers and keeping them as customers. When we show up authentically, and in service, we add value to the lives of the people we serve, which goes beyond any marketing tactic.

3. When we are spending time on our images or posts, we miss that we are here to serve our people in our new and different way. We forget to spend time on the solution they are looking for and show them we can help them by actually helping them.

4. When we are comparing and feeling ineffective, we miss that all we need to do is show the people we want to help that our way works and creates results; the reason they are looking for the solution in the first place. When we give them something that works, they will have results in their lives and want to work with us for more results.

5. When we spend time learning the latest tricks and tactics, we are not spending time clarifying our message and to whom we are talking. We spend time just trying new things instead of evaluating what we are currently doing and its effectiveness. The clearer we become, the more our person sees us, gets interested in us, gets mini results, and eventually hires us to solve their main problem.

I help my clients make more money in less time and energy by creating systems in their business that work and create the results they want.

If you are ready to make money by spending your time in activities that make money, I can help you.

Let us schedule a consultation session.

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Ruth Duren Ruth Duren

How persistent are you?

How persistent are you?

How many times are you willing to hear a no?

Do you stop at the first no or keep going until you hear the yes?

The more no’s you are willing to hear will increase the number of yes’s you will hear.

The first no we hear, is just the individuals gut reaction.

Unfortunately, too many amazing women are living lives of mediocrity, earning less than they could because they stop at the first no.

And if WE stop at that no, we miss the valuable information available AND the opportunity to serve our person.

The best place to go when we hear a no is to ask different questions.

This creates awareness of why we heard the no and what who we can evolve into from here.

This shows us what we missed to show them or where we need to go/become to hear the yes.

Studies after studies show that the successful go beyond the first no and sometimes even 5 no’s.

The key is not what to do, but how to think and feel by managing our minds to ask the questions to get to the yes.

I help women use their most significant asset, their minds, to create more money in less time and energy.

We do this by hearing the no and asking questions, learning from the experience and adjusting the next presentation or sales event.

If you want to create more money in less time, send me a private message and let's schedule a consultation call.

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